Anger Management Counselling, Calgary
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions.
I want to use them, enjoy them and dominate them.”
I want to use them, enjoy them and dominate them.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~
Where did that just come from?
Have you ever wondered why you snapped at someone, why you’ve been having negative thoughts about yourself and others, why your mind constantly tosses around worries and concerns, or why some form of sadness or teariness catches you off guard as it bubbles to the surface?
Ahhh! What good are emotions?
Emotions happen for a reason. They carry a story with them. We need to listen to the story but also figure out how to manage them so they don’t hijack our lives, our minds and our behaviour.
We all worry, get defensive and feel annoyed. The feeling isn’t the problem, it’s how we manage it that creates them.
Today’s challenge
Let’s face it. Sometimes we just lack skill. Sometimes we just get overwhelmed. Sometimes we just get stuck and need help. All of us can use help to better manage our moods. Today, life is full of stresses that our ancestors didn’t have to deal with.
✓ Life is more expensive; so we worry about our future (and that of our kids)
✓ Work requires a high skill level; so we have to constantly upgrade
✓ Competition is fierce in this global economy; so we have less job security
✓ Sexual affairs are easier due to the internet; so we feel less secure in our relationships
✓ We hear of every serious catastrophe that happens in the world; so we worry more
Stress is at an all time high. No wonder it can be tough to manage our moods.
Under pressure
But also, we are expected to have it all together. This world places a high value on independence. Society looks down on those who don’t measure up. So, we feel like we have to fake being competent all of the time, while a lot of stress bottles up inside of us.
Then something betrays us. The volcano erupts. We snap. Our minds won’t stop worrying and other bothersome emotions just won’t let go. When this happens, we can feel alone and not know who to turn to.
Help is available
We may try to talk things over with a close friend or relative to find support. Whatever we do, it’s important to reach out to someone we can confide in and this may include professional help as needed.
Mood and Anger Management Counselling, Calgary
We help clients learn anger management so they can get control their tempers and improve their relationships.
What can counselling help with?
Professional Counselling can help you get the tools and skills to:
✓ Understand your emotions
✓ Learn anger management
✓ Reduce the negative impact of your moods
✓ Better manage mood swings
✓ Improve your ability to manage life stresses
✓ Reduce anxiety and worry
✓ Move past sadness or grief
✓ Get more control over your thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours
Our moods are not an enemy. It’s how we manage them that will either help us or create further problems in life. Mismanaged moods lead to a mismanaged life.
“The happiest people in the world know how to enjoy their emotions without being dominated by them.”
– Michael Haggstrom –
3 Anger Management Tips
Anger itself is not the enemy, but expressing it can be tricky. Like a wildfire, many relationships are destroyed when anger runs rampant and uncontrolled.
Here are 3 things to do when anger surfaces:
1. Discern
Decide if your anger is truly justified, if you’re blowing things out of proportion, or being self-centred. Look at the objective facts. There’s often more than one way to look at a situation.
2. Ownership
Before speaking out in anger, own your annoyances and develop the character you need to be more understanding by knowing how to put yourself in other people’s shoes. ASK: Would I want to be talked to in this way?
3. Be Constructive
Anger can be healthy. It can be about a need, want, wish or a boundary that should be communicated to someone. Seek to dialogue with that person in a constructive win-win manner about your needs and wants.
REMEMBER: Anger can be useful in developing healthy authentic relationships, but it needs to be channelled well so that it doesn’t destroy the very things we ought to value most in life… People!
